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Cranksgiving 2024 is Nov 23!


Biker attacked with umbrella, beer can at Pike Place Market

Well, maybe bizarre attacks on people riding bikes happen in threes. Following our earlier reports of a man trying to attack a biker with a Taser and a woman whacking a biker with a golf club comes this report from Jonah at Seattle Crime:

Police were called to the Pike Place Market on October 22nd after security broke up a fight between two men.

Officers arrived on scene at Pike Pl. and Stewart Ave around 9:00am, and found a cyclist and another man waiting with Market security.


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Police spoke with a witness, who said the cyclist was riding north on Pike Pl. when the suspect swung an umbrella at him, striking the cyclist in the face and knocking him off his bike.

As the victim went to the ground, the suspect threw a can of beer at him, missing him and hitting a car parked nearby.

The victim and the suspect started fighting, and another witness helped hold the suspect at the scene until security arrived.

The report doesn’t indicate why the suspect attacked the cyclist, but the victim told police he’d been willing to testify against his assailant.

The suspect was booked into the King County Jail for assault.

I would tell you to be on the lookout while riding, but I don’t really know what to be on the lookout for. Tasers, people jumping out behind parked cars with golf clubs, umbrellas. I dunno what to tell you. Fear everything! … wait, don’t do that.



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One response to “Biker attacked with umbrella, beer can at Pike Place Market”

  1. subrookie

    Beer at 9:00 AM? I think we can assume the suspect was one of two people: raging alcoholic or homeless. The world cup isn’t on anymore so no excuse for drinking at 9.

Cranksgiving 2024 is Nov 23!

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