— Advertisement —

Seattle First Lady’s bicycle stolen

(Editor’s note: I do not yet know where it was stolen from, that is was stolen tonight, or even really that it was stolen. All I know is what’s in those two tweets. The unlocked bike was stolen from a city hall garage after the mayor rode it to work. The First Lady is “pissed.” In all seriousness, getting a bike stolen sucks. Condolences.)


Someone has pilfered Lady McSchwinn’s bicycle. Under the cover of a diabolical snow-screen, a fiend has made off with the honorable steed belonging to our mayor’s wife.

Nigh half of one hour ago, our honorable leader sent this royal decree:


— Advertisement —

Seattle bicyclists, sharpen your gaze. You have been called upon to defend the honor of your fair city and find the fiend who has stolen from our brave mayoral family while they were busy defending us from a snow storm! If we cannot retrieve this fine steed, then our fine mayor’s wife will be forced to take the royal minivan, and I fear our civilization is not strong enough to keep from crumbling under such humility.

This is your time. Go out and defend Seattle’s honor!




About the author:


Related posts:

Comments

5 responses to “Seattle First Lady’s bicycle stolen”

  1. R Roush

    I’d be curious to know where it was stolen, how it was parked (rack? locked? type of lock?), etc.

  2. Mark Kerrigan

    Perhaps Walk, Bike, Ride should hold public screenings of Hal grading your bike locking. http://www.streetfilms.org/hal-and-kerri-grade-your-bike-locking/

  3. daisy

    A very crucial piece of info is missing from the report. Was the Mayor wearing a helmet when the bike was stolen or better yet was the bicycle itself wearing a helmet?

  4. Chris

    I’m sorry, if the mayor ever wants to get some street cred about biking to work, he shouldn’t be riding his wife’s beach cruiser to work. I wonder if he posted where the bike was stolen on BikeWise?

    You’d also think that as mayor they might let you bring your bike in your office with you to keep it safe.

  5. daisy

    Here’s another question. If the bicycle is recovered and a perp identified will the crime be prosecuted as if it were a motorized vehicle?

— Advertisement —

Join the Seattle Bike Blog Supporters

As a supporter, you help power independent bike news in the Seattle area. Please consider supporting the site financially starting at $5 per month:

Latest stories

— Advertisements —

Latest on Mastodon

Loading Mastodon feed…